Isn't it amazing?

Isn't it amazing how God knows us? He knows just what we need and he provides for us. Whe we go through struggles he sends us words of encouragement. Someone will mention a good scripture, the radio will play a song that ministers to you, God takes care of you. But I've learned the hard way that God only sends those things to us when we ask for them. God can't help you if you won't let him, we have to go to him with our problems and issues before he can help us. We have to let go, we have to give up control, we have to realize that we can't do it by ourselves. And as humans, that is so hard for us to do. But the reward is so great. Because once you do let go, God swoops in and takes care of you better than the most doting mother. He gives you everything you need to make it through. God loves you and wants you to be happy and is in pain when your in pain, but he can't help you until you let go and let him. So just let go, turn to God, give it all to him, and be healed. It is worth it, it is so much better when you do, life is worth living again.

Grief

Isn't our God amazing? Even in our worst hours, He is there for us. My Grandfather passed away Saturday night. And it was the most peaceful death I could have imagined. I can't imagine him passing any other way. God's hand truly was orchestrating every second of it. He spent the entire day in labored breathing and unable to interact with us. But by the grace of God we all got to lay on the bed and he would try to hug us. Towards the end of his life we began putting on his favorite music. His favorite song has always been The Old Rugged Cross by Ernest Tubb. He had been unable to talk to us all day or even respond to our questions. When The Old Rugged Cross came on we all began singing to him. He tried to sit up and sing it and right at the end of the chorus, he just simply died. It was very painless and peaceful. We are going to have a beautiful service for him on Saturday and I am going to try and play Amazing Grace on the piano for him. Thank you everyone for your prayers and love. I and my family have truly felt it pouring in.
Donald Thomas Underhill
R.I.P. 1923-2009

Grief

I hate saying goodbye. Until recently I didn't really have a problem with it. Then my close friend Dustin came back into my life. Dustin's in the Marines, and I hardly ever get to see him. In September I saw him for the first time in three months. And I just got done seeing him again. And both times when I left him my grief was so profound, I could actually feel it in my chest. He's the one person I can turn to for everything. He will always be there for me. And in nine months he goes overseas. I'm terrified. He just found the Lord and I'm thrilled for that. But I am having a really hard time leaning on the Lord through this. It's almost like I don't want to feel better. But driving back today a song came on the radio that made me realize that my life is much more than how I'm feeling currently. So even though I don't want to lean on God for this, we need to. We need to take Christ off the cross and put him back on the throne.

Civil War!

So today my marching band played a flag football game against the marching band of a rival college. And of course, we won! We kicked their butts, 30-7. It was so much fun! I got to play defense and I blitzed the quarterback once. The only problem was that once we started to win, so like five minutes in, they started playing dirty and tackling. We also didn't have referees because they didn't show up. But it was fun, and we won. No complaints. Life is good, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, today is my boyfriends birthday, and I'm happy. God Bless!

Realization

So I had a realization today. I am cursing way too much. Now don't get me wrong I'm not anywhere near a sailor yet but still, I don't like it. I prided myself that I really didn't curse in high school. Sure the occassional word would slip out when something really frustrated me or something but it wasn't a habit. Then came college. And I don't know what happened. I am letting curse words slip in all over my vocabulary. One little thing happens and I say "d***". Or something weird will happen and I will say, "what the "h***". I hate it! So from this point on I am changing my ways. The big motivation for this is not so much my own personal hatred of it but rather, that God hates it and I am letting him down. Far from what I want to do in my life, especially since I'm trying to draw closer to him. Well thats all I have to say today. But wish me luck in my football game tomorrow night!

Lesson Learned

So I have an essay due Wednesday and while I have tried to work on it before, today is the first day I am actually making serious headway. But so far it is going pretty well. I feel decent about it. But I had to do what was really hard for me to do in order to get any work done. I had to let go and put it all on God. I know, I know, seems pretty easy right? Not for me! I have a hard time letting go of my control on my life. I almost feel that my problems are to small for God to have to worry about. But God wants to take care of all our problems for us and He wants us to come to him with them. But it's hard for me. It's gotten better recently (thank you Tom) and hopefully it will continue to get better. Well, lesson learned about the essay I guess. Maybe next time I will go to God in the beginning. Wish me luck and remember God wants to help you with your problems so use him.

Hi!

Hey! My name is Kayla and I'm really excited to start a blog. I first thought about starting a blog when I was reading the blogs of some friends of mine who were ministering in the Phillipines, it really inspired me to know that people all over the world could see what they were doing for God and maybe they could touch somebody through their blogs. But really made me want to start mine was that I have had a really hard time in my life right now. I recently moved to an extremely liberal town to go to college. I am a conservative christian so obviously there has been some stress there. I want to blog about the challenges to my faith I am facing every day, how I am dealing with them, and how God is moving in me, blessing me and using me to bless others around me. I hope that maybe I can bless someone else through my blog. So this will just be the ups and downs of my life and my struggles in my faith, because even though I have an insane passion for God, I am not anywhere near how close to Him I would like to be or where He would like me to be. Well, thats all for now. Tune back in, more to come soon. God Bless!